The Way I Loved
by HeadOverHeelsInHate
Summary: She loved him, but not everything lasts. Now she's with Dylan but she just can't forget him. He's right there with her, unforgettable.


**Y'ello. Some may have noticed I've changed my pen name. I used to be HeadOverHeelsInHate, now I'm FakeAndFailing.**

**Steve: M does not own Maximum Ride.**

* * *

The Way I Loved

You used to take me out back, dragging me from my bed, just to get a moment alone with me. You'd smile your secret smile and twirl me around right before you pulled me up against me and kissed me. You were random, spontaneous. You were passionate.

You were the one who sent the shivers down my spine.

I don't think I ever told you how much I loved you, and now I never will.

But, you and me? We were far from perfect. I got tired of our fights, the way we could never go a week without exchanging harsh, hurtful words. I guess that last time it just really got to me. I finally understood that, you and me, we were always going to fight.

And I didn't want that.

I wanted something where I was comfortable. Where I new I could depend on my boyfriend, and that he wouldn't hurt me. I wanted something peaceful and sensible and incredible. I wanted something that worked, something that could last.

And I didn't have that with you.

I have that with Dylan.

He respects me and my space. He's never late, and always dependant. He's charming and endearing. He can tell me that I'm beautiful without adding a snarky comment at the end. He can tell me he cares for me and not push it farther. He doesn't push me to change or work harder. He doesn't push my buttons.

He's perfect.

And yet, I can't forget you.

The clock blinks out and the time switches to 7:30. And right on time the doorbell rings. Expected.

A tight smile finds its way on to my face and I walk down the steps, smoothing out my skirt. My mother already has the door open and is talking with my boyfriend. He's smiling and she laughs at something he says.

The tightness in my smile fades as he turns and notices me, a large grin sliding on to his face. "Hey beautiful," he whispers in my ear, drawing me close And brushing my dark blonde hair away from my face.

I stiffen slightly, not exactly liking anyone touches. Well, I guess I'd be lying if I said that I hated your touch. But you were always different. You understood me, maybe a little too well. But the things that everybody else sees, those are the things you don't see. You didn't see a lot. I'm surprised we lasted so long.

I grimace, tying to push you out of my head.

My mom smiles brightly, pride shining in her eyes as she ushers us out the door.

The cold air bites my skin and I shiver slightly. Dylan stares at me with concern and offers his jacket. I can't help but raise my eyebrows.

You would never have done that. You would have laughed at me, holding your jacket out to me just out of reach before racing ahead. Or you would have just smirked at me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, holding me to your side. You were always unpredictable. Unexpected.

In many ways you and Dylan are opposites.

But he takes his jacket and wraps it around my shoulders even though we're only a few feet from his car. He then opens up my door, letting me slip in before closing the door and walking around to the other side.

The car ride is full of mindless, useless chatter as we head of to the restaurant. We talk about our days, keeping the conversation rather detached. And then I lapse into silence, letting him take control of the conversation.

It's nothing like being in the car with you. We would have blasted the music, singing along with the lyrics and making up the words when we didn't know what the singer was saying. We would have laughed and kept the conversation up. We would have played some sort of car game or another round of firing questions where I say everything about you and vice versa. We would have made the other drivers' heads turn as they looked at the two of us and thought we were insane.

You brought out a side of me I didn't even know I had.

We pull up to the parking lot quietly, and he rushes out his side of the car just to open the door for me. I can't help but feel kind of useless.

I already know exactly what will happen. He'll order his usual and I'll order mine. We'll talk some more and I'll get lost in thought. The food will come and we'll eat in silence, me trying to keep the food off of my face just for him. And then he'll pay for the dinner, despite my offers to pay. And then we'll go to the movies, watch some sort of romantic crap that he thinks I like. He'll hold my hand and we'll share popcorn. He'll take me home and kiss me on the porch and I'll head upstairs with a sigh and we'll continue our routine.

But in the movie, for once, he does something I don't expect. Halfway through the movie, while the two protagonists are making out on screen, he turns to me, lifting my chin to look at me.

"I love you," he says.

Everything seems to disappear, it's just me and him... and you.

I remember the first time you told me you loved me. We were leaving this same movie theater after watching Paranormal Activity. We were laughing, and leaning against each other. And then in one fluid movement you picked me up and slung me over our shoulder. We were still laughing as you raced down the streets through the rain. We stopped at the nearest park and you dumped me on to the floor of the playground.

I had lost my breath at that moment. And then you were towering over me, an intense look in your eyes, all traces of laughter gone. And then with rain streaming down our skin and soaking our clothes, you pressed your forehead to mine and whispered those three words to me.

You hadn't expected anything from me, hadn't even given me any time to respond before your lips were firmly attached to mine. We kissed like we were in those movies that Dylan now takes me to. We clung to each other, and you picked me up. Our lips moved together and our tongues battled the waging war of love. It was one of those kisses you never want to end. One thatmakes your stomach clench, your toes curl and you heart stop.

Dylan stares at me, hopefully as I sit in silence. He's expecting me to say those words back to him. He expects me to love him too. It's been seven months since we first starting dating so I guess that for him that's enough time. And it would be for me too if only I actually loved him.

I blink, my expression blank as I withdraw my hands from his and stand up. I quickly walk out of the theater room, trying not to attract any attention. But that's kind of hard with Dylan clambering after me, telling me to wait.

But I don't.

I run.

Footsteps pound against the pavement as I burst out of the cinema, and I barely register them as mine as I race down the streets, taking all the familiar turns.

Because suddenly, it was obvious.

Dylan and me? It wasn't real. It was like in all those fairy tales; seemingly perfect and romantic but absolutely no chemistry. We weren't in love. We were searching for what we could love. Misguided. Deluded. Fake.

I pull to a halt in front of a familiar house. I don't take the time to think before my fists knock against the door. I quickly withdraw my hand, standing frozen. I can hear the creak of the stairs as you head down the stairs to answer the door.

I blink, willing myself to back away, to walk away and never look back. But my feet are grounded to your porch.

My breath catches in my throat and my heart stops as you open the door and I'm back, staring at you face. Your dark hair is mused with sleep and your eyes are rimmed with red. Your chest is bare and your plaid pajama pants are slung low on your hips. You look so familiar. And so much worse off than me.

Your eyes narrow once you realize that it's me and I can't help but glare back at you.

"What do you want?" you growl.

My voice rises as I grab your ear and drag you out in to the middle of the street. "I want to know how you could fuck my life up so badly!?" I shout, my hands clenched at my sides.

You glare at me and laugh drily. "I fucked up your life? How do you think I feel? You're the one you messed with my head and ditched me. I thought you loved me but then out of the blue you dumped me!"

You sound so angry and so hurt, that I'm almost scared... of you... for you...

But I brush it off and shove you. "You think there was noreason? What about that kiss with the stupid redhead? What about breaking my heart? What about us!?"

You reach out and grip my forearm, pulling me closer. "I never kissed anyone but you while dating you. I would never. Not when I lover you so much. You broke myheart," you say quietly. "Why are you here anyways? We haven't spoken in almost a year."

I roll my eyes. "Well, sorry," I say, sarcasm dripping off my every word. "I didn't mean to disturb your beauty sleep. God know you need it."

Your grip tightens and you yank me forwards, glaring down at me. "You didn't answer my question," you snarl.

I yank my arm out of your grasp, frowning. "I'm tired of faking it. Of failing everything," I whisper so quietly that even I can barely hear myself.

You take my chin in your hand and tilt my head up, looking me in the eyes. "Faking what? Failing what?" you ask, your voice low and husky.

I lift my shoulders in a shrug and drop them. Untucking my hair from behind my ears, I let it fall in my face and obscuring me from view. "I guess I was afraid that it wouldn't work. That'd it was too good to be true and then when I saw you and the redhead, I thought I was actually right. We always fought too much anyways."

Your hand reaches up and you press your palm to my cheek, staring down at me. "Never," you whisper.

I can't help but take a step closer to you, and I'm so focused on you that I don't notice the sudden glare of lights on us and the screeching of wheels.

Your eyes widen and you tackle me on to the grass. The wind from the car rushing by crashes on to us and my hair whips around. The driver doesn't stop though, he just blares the horn and flips us off.

But you barely notice as you stare down at me, our bodies pressed together. I cough awkwardly and you quickly jump up, offering a hand to help me up.

"Sooo..." you say, trying to restart our conversation yet knowing that its' ended. That we can't start over.

I give you a wry sad smile as I brush my pants off. "Sooo... see you around?"

You nod, giving me your own version of a smile. Your fingers brush over mine before we pull apart.

And then I walk away. I turn and squeeze my eyes closed, telling myself not to look back. We messed up, but at least we can be on better terms than before. And somehow, I find the strength to keep walking away and not turn back and kiss the hell out of you. And you find the courage to let me go... at least for now.

Because with us... nothing is ever for sure.

"See you around, Max," you whisper. "See you around."

* * *

**I tried a different style of writing here so I hope you liked it.**

**Please review! And if you do wish to favourite this story do not do so without first reviewing.**

**peace the bob out.**

**-M**

**P.S. REAL LIFE DRAMA STINKS TO HIGh HELL!**


End file.
